As I go about life here in the backwoods today, I am thinking about how there are times when I have become resentful of the curve balls life has thrown me. Don't get me wrong, I am utterly thankful for the blessings which have been bestowed upon me. In fact many times I cannot even begin to fathom just how blessed I truly am, because I have gotten so wrapped up in the difficulties of life that it's just too hard to see past this situation or that.
A prime example of this is that my husband and I sold our car. We bought that car while we were stationed on Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, CA. It was literally my lifeline after "hell" hit & they locked him up then stopped feeding him, all for not being a perfect robot. Driving around, was my way of coping with the utter hell we were experiencing, as well as my way to and from work in order to pay our bills after they stopped paying him. The love of my life was locked up, I was hanging onto my sanity by a thread... and I had nothing left except my dog & my car... So selling our car has hit me really hard. It's been two weeks now, and I logically understand why we had to sell it, I logically understand that my husband & son are much more important than a car... but I would not be lying if I said I had shed more than a few tears over that car. But it's a possession. Possessions can be replaced.
Something that I have to keep telling myself over and over as each curve ball gets thrown at me, is that "This too shall pass; everything has a season, this will not last forever, so be strong and enjoy each day as it comes. Look for the sunshine in every cloudy day."
Life today, is wonderful, it's actually a lot better in many ways than I could have ever imagined. What I couldn't have imagined, was that I would be living back under my parents roof, caring for both my son & my husband simultaneously, while keeping chickens in the backyard to sell eggs and try to make ends meet!
I love my son & husband more than life itself. I would die for either one of them in a heartbeat if it meant that their lives would be guarantied to be happy ones. But, in both cases, they would not be able to live without me so that whole statement is a rather silly one.
Most people take bible verses and bend them to suit the situation they are trying to deal with. Christians today are really bad about this issue,
and I don't like it. Sometimes the verses don't actually mean what
people think they mean, because they've been twisted around to suit
people so often that the original meaning has been lost on people. Even
when someone actually goes into the bible itself to look the verse back
up, the "colored glasses" they are viewing the verse through changes
the meaning. It's only when one has the vision to take off the colored
glasses and view the verses as they were originally intended that one
can actually glean properly.
This bible verse, has helped a lot over the last 3-years since hell broke loose... Take it for what it's worth.
Ecclesiastes 3
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.